ARE YOU BEING ABUSED?

What is Woman Abuse?

In the United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women, the term violence against women refers to “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.”

Abuse can be, but is not limited to:

• Punching, kicking, pushing
• Slapping, biting or hair pulling
• Threatening you with violence
• Throwing things
• Control of time, what you do, what you wear
• Not allowing you to keep friends or family members close
• Following you or harassing you
• Threatening to withdraw immigration sponsorship or have you deported
• Not allowing you to take ESL (English as a Second Language) courses
• Destroying your property
• Putting you down, calling you stupid, crazy or irrational
• Not allowing you to work
• Forcing you to get pregnant
• Pressuring you into sexual acts or denying sex, affection, or personal care
• Not allowing you to attend the church, synagogue, mosque or temple
• Forcing you to join a cult
• Forcing you to turn over your finances to him/her
• Controlling how you spend money

There are many ways to tell if you are being abused. Following is a list of possible signs of abuse:

Do you feel:

• Like you have to walk on eggshells?
• Frightened by his/her temper?
• You can’t live without him/her?
• You should stop seeing other friends or family, or give up activities you enjoy because she/he doesn’t like them?
• Afraid to tell him/her your worries and feelings about the relationship?
• You should comply because you are afraid to hurt his/her feelings; and have the urge to rescue him/her when she/he is troubled?
• You are the only one who can help him/her and that you should try to reform him/her?

Do you believe:

• You must stay because you feel she/he will harm or kill himself/herself if you leave?
• Jealousy is a sign of love?
• The critical things she/he says to make you feel bad about yourself
• There is something wrong with you if you don’t enjoy the sexual things she/he makes you do?
• That the man makes the decisions and woman pleases him?

Have you:

• Found yourself making excuses to yourself or others for your partner's behaviour
• Stopped yourself from expressing an opinion for fear of being harmed?